Lesson:
More than half the class was absent today, having gone camping with a group of families from church. For those who were present, we spent the class period reviewing their essays in depth, discussing the revision process with detailed recommendations for improvement.
Specifically, we emphasized fine-tuning thesis statements to make them more workable. My primary point was that whenever an essay just won't flow and the writer finds himself or herself wrestling for clarity, chances are that the thesis of the essay was not clearly focused in the writer's mind first. If thoughts won't congeal, writing never will. Therefore, the writer should first reorganize thoughts, then check that the thesis statement accurately and fully covers the points the writer will be making in the body paragraphs --- no more, no less.
We also briefly covered the concepts of parallel construction and congruence of terms.
Examples of "fuzzy", incongruent thesis statements:
Leadership is seeing a clear course of direction, courage, and communicating.
Steak 'n Shake is superior to McDonald's in menu selection, taste, and it is open more hours, too.
Examples of revised thesis statements:
Leadership requires seeing a clear course of direction, pursuing it with courage, and communicating it to others persuasively.
A leader motivates others through clear vision, courage of convictions, and persuasive communication.
Steak 'n Shake is superior to McDonald's in hours of operation, menu selection, and taste.
Steak 'n Shake is superior to McDonald's because it remains open later, offers a wider menu, and serves fresher food with better flavor.
Assignment:
Since so many were absent, I opted not to assign a new paper.
Rather, students should spend time revising the previous assignment, a five-paragraph compare/contrast essay, with special thought given to clarity of thought and congruence of thesis statement.
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